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This is my place where I unload, unwind, reflect, and express all those thoughts and emotions I have been unable to express in my everyday life. While I firmly believe life is about expression, every event in life does not allow free expression. The greater peace in life often calls for keeping ones mouth shut. This journal allows me to do that...
May. 28th, 2009 @ 10:43 am Discussion with daughter
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Me: I smell smoke
Daughter: nothings on, the stove is off and so is the oven
Me: clearly there is smoke in the kitchen.
I point to smoke floating on ceiling.
Daughter: everything's fine mom; it must have been the toast.
Me: and the toaster is fine?
Daughter: yeah

5 minutes later
Daughter: MOM???
Me: what?
Daughter: there's a fire in the toaster oven!
Me: is the toast on fire?
Daughter: no, but it's scorched. What do I do? ( freaking out )
Me: (calmly) unplug the toaster oven.
Daughter: it's still on fire!!!
Me: get the baking soda
Daugher: hmm? ( watching the flames)
Me: open the toaster oven and cover the flames with baking soda
Daughter: why?
Me: just do it
Daughter: why did it put the flames out?
Son: that's a mess why didn't you use water?
Me: it's electric! You never put water on electrical appliances.
Daughter: yeah
Me: it is a mess!
The toaster oven looks like it got snowed on.
Daughter: how could this happen? That stuff isn't supposed to catch on fire!
Me: really? Because there's a removable tray that supposed to be removed and cleaned?
Daughter: oh that.
Me: yeah that
Daughter: I don't think i've ever cleaned it
Me: obviously

This PSA brought to you by the misadventures of my genius teenage hormonal daughter.

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May. 16th, 2009 @ 09:09 am (no subject)
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Today I officially graduate from Avila.
Last night was the sending ceremony. I spent the evening with my actual friends at Rime with team monk. It's hard to explain why I didn't bond with anyone except for during school activities. It might be that I'm such a private person and there some parts of me I don't let the average person. Got be pretty abnormal to be let into my inner sanctum.

Anyway. I didnt want to invite any of them to my grad party. I just didn't.

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May. 8th, 2009 @ 09:26 pm Student teaching
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Current Location: US, Kansas, Wyandotte, Bonner Springs, I- 70
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I have realized that when you student teach you take on your cooperative teacher's perspective.

With the over bearing, smothering elementary teacher I could remediate her class and turn it around. I brought the kids around. Just before I left I got the kids to think for themselves on the highest level of Bloom's Taxonomy. It was rewarding. Really rewarding despite the constant fight.

However right now I am in a depression. Eighth grade last quarter of the year. This teacher is not overbearing. She is not smothering. She's in credibly passive. She has a defeatist attitude and rather than empower the kids, she does all the work for them. When the kids don't behave as she wishes, she freezes them out emotionally. She's passive agressive. She's given up on the kids and is trying to maintain until she can pass them off to high school.

I find I can't function in this atmosphere.
I do the best I can. But she won't let me advocate for the kids; only let me do the bare minimum that she is capable of. Everytime I try to soar or rather enable the kids to soar she, clips my wings.

I find I want to give up. I want to quit. I feel like I can't breathe in this environment.

Every morning I leave for my student teacher placement, I cry.

In 11 days I will be done.

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Nov. 4th, 2008 @ 08:13 pm Election Day
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Oct. 31st, 2008 @ 07:11 am Lj is on my iPhone
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Current Location: 39.092728, -94.898987
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This is a test of the iPhone app. I the functionality only let's me post.

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Aug. 1st, 2008 @ 11:13 pm Avatar!
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Look What I found, butterfly
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You are a Waterbender!

Waterbender

The first waterbenders learned how to bend water by watching the moon control the tides. Waterbenders use Chi, the energy that flows through life, in combat. They redirect their opponent’s Chi rather than using direct strikes. Waterbending is stronger at night and strongest during the full moon. Waterbending is not possible during a lunar eclipse.

Which Element do you Bend?

Jul. 1st, 2008 @ 08:38 pm Very funny
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Current Mood: burned
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Unless of course if you don't have a sense of humor... in that case, don't get out of bed.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/526482501.html
Jun. 23rd, 2008 @ 01:57 pm RIP George Carlin
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Look What I found, butterfly
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Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
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I stayed up late as a teenager to watch him on HBO without my parents finding out. It spurred me on to think differently about the live I was living.
His humor and anti-establishment stance will surely be missed.
By the way not necessarily work appropriate.

His rant on stuff:




My favorite rant on religion:




and the immortal 7 dirty words:

May. 30th, 2008 @ 09:40 am Just a funny for the day...
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Yaga Curious
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how to get rid of guys the morning after...


May. 21st, 2008 @ 07:27 am Clinton, it's time to let it go..
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Current Mood: quixoticpolitical
Current Music: NPR
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Obama has the majority of the delegates.
You are doing fuzzy math to say you have a chance. You include the renegade states and discount states that held caucuses saying that don't count because blue collar workers couldn't participate. But, you weren't there. I was at my local caucus and there were only a few white collar workers there. There were people in the uniforms having got off work to stand in line for an hour to get their vote counted.

I know Senator Clinton it was your time to win the democratic nomination to run for the presidency in the general election. I know you waited behind your husband Bill watching and waiting for a chance to do things your way. You raised a lot of money from big names and you got the maximum amount from each of those fat cat people. Your campaign is in debt right now and you refuse to give up. Everyone says you have perseverance, but in special education we pronounce it differently and it means that you can not let go of things that ordinary people would have moved past. I know your husband has abused you emotionally and you are seeking validation that what he has done to you is wrong through gaining public support. I know you see Obama as a young upstart who cut his way to the front of the democratic party's line. I know it is disappointing to wait your turn and then have someone else carried to the front.
It is disappointing.
But, the United States Democrats have had enough of party politics. We want a leader who listens to us first, not party politics! We have chosen! We have stood in line to make our voices heard!
I know it is frustrating that Obama doesn't have the fat cats you do, but he has people like me who send him $25 when they can. His campaign is not in debt. He is able to keep raising money for his campaign and I think that says it all. We, the people, believe in him $25 at a time and doesn't that say it all.
Yes, Senator Clinton this is not fair when one considers the previous corrupt party fat-cat, pork barreling democratic party we have had in the past century. But, the people don't want that sort of thing anymore and they don't want you.
Step down kindly and you will be rewarded. Maybe not with fat-cat bribes, but with the respect of the United States people and that means you might not be laughed out when you run again.
.